21. The Teacher On A Bender
Remember Ms. Whatever? That lovely woman that always helped you out with your school work and let you off detention? Well turns out she spends her summer going apesh*t crazy in Croatia. Yep. Teachers party hard.
20. The “Golden” Oldie
He may be in his mid-thirties, but that doesn’t make this guy accept the fact that he’s in his mid-fifties. He could be the nicest guy in the world, but most of the younger backpackers will view him as a sad old man who really needs to settle down. However, the “Golden” oldie has some of the most insane stories your ears will ever hear. After a pint, you’ll have nothing but respect for this guy. He’s been around the bush, so listen to his advice.
19. The Bye-The-Book Backpacker
These folks are only interested in collecting museum fridge magnets, seeing the main sights and only eat where the guidebook says is good. Not interested in getting culturally involved, they judge a city’s worth by how many times they appear in films. So they’ve been to Times Square, trekked to Machu Picchu, and have had a Gondola ride. So don’t expect them to have travelled off the beaten track.
18. The Extremely Attractive Groups Of Girls
They’ve just entered their 20’s, they’re fit and they’re gorgeous. Generally lovely lassies, but expect their stuff to be everywhere if you’re sharing a dorm with them. Getting into the shower before them is a must, plug in music to block out their hyena giggles and stand your ground when it comes to the sockets. They have so many hair straighteners, curlers and other witchcraft products so you got to protect your space.
17. The Obnoxious Asshole
This person lives in a bubble. A bubble which they believe the outside world does not exist. Which means they think it’s perfectly acceptable to blow dry their hair at 6am, slam their locker several times over and Skype their loved ones at 2am with no earphones in and with maximum volume. To sum them up, they just do not give a sh*t.
16. The Loved Up Couple
These two have found love, they want to share everything, including the wonderful world they live and everything in it. Unfortunately for you that means swishy kissing noises late at night and enduring some serious public display of affection. If you’re a single backpacker, expect of synced display of pity from them. “You’ll find someone”.
15. The Unsociable Backpacker
The unsociable backpacker isn’t just a shy person. Ask them about their travels, invite them to come out with you, tell them your woes and your success and they will respond with little interest. As humans beings go, this person would probably be happier if hostels included single cells, with no natural light and an inbuilt toilet than share a 4-bed dorm with you.
14. The Independent Woman
This young lady is the kind of girl who doesn’t mind eating on her own, let alone travel the world flying solo. She is sociable, confident and does her own thing. You’ll find the independent woman amongst a crowd of other independent women. Sharing tales of insane nights out, harassment and exchanging tips. Definitely not a force to be reckoned with.
13. The World Renowned Flashpacker
Usually in a group of two or three. The Flashpacker is renowned for whipping out their iPhone to take a photo of ANYTHING exotic. Their Instagram is full of selfies in Tuk Tuks, group photos of them with a surfboard and, of course, with plenty of drinks from last night's pub crawl. Although they are shamed upon by those of a more serious backpacking nature, they are usually lovely people and 100% harmless.
12. The Testosterone Fueled Group Of Lads
Low cut t-shirts, lager in hand and no respect for hostel property, these lads are here for one reason… banter. You can be considered unlucky if you’re sharing a dorm with these guys. The upside of things, well if you're willing to be easy-going, is that they’re more than willing to include you on their outrageous intentions. You know what they say, if you can’t beat’em, join 'em...
If you were spending the night in a shack in the middle of Siberia, in January, there’s no doubt you’d be bunking with Cody from Melbourne or Hannah from Orange. The first lesson everyone learns when they start travelling is that Australians are everywhere. Generally good fun, and always up for a chat and a beer, Australians are usually great to hang out with.
10. The Person That Used To Work There
Usually a party hostel, this person has spent a summer working here and upon returning to the real world, has decided they that wanted to go back to that incredible summer. Only to discover that the hostel has a whole new pack of partiers, and those long summer days have disappeared along with their hopes and dreams. You’ll feel bad for them, and they know you do.
9. The Person That Basically Works There
You meet this guy when you check-in. He tells you all the great bars to drink in, what attractions you should and shouldn’t bother seeing. Shares crazy stories with you about nights out with the staff… and then you see that he’s in your room. The answer to your questions; “No, but I basically work here.”. Okay then.
8. The Cool People, Who Look Down On You
This group of overly attractive and stylish young people can be incredibly intimidating to share a dorm with. They have no qualms with taking over the place, after day trips where they had SO MUCH FUN, you’re forced to sit silently in your bunk while they tell private joke after private joke. You can’t help but feel no point, in speaking to them as they don't appear to have any interest in getting to know anyone else since all they need, is each other.
7. Wide-Eyed First-timers
After struggling to get their massive suitcase up six flights of stairs, these are the kind of people who are astonished that hostels don’t have wardrobes or two pillows to a bunk. But they're so blown away with the sense of adventure and the cheap drink prices they quickly get over it. Yet to learn the preciousness of having fresh clothes and decent dinners, they are viewed as very naive, but that’s not to say everyone is willing to help them out.
6. The All-Knowing Backpacker
They speak several languages, lived in Thailand for two years, have hiked their way through South America and have been to countries you haven’t even heard of. But most of all, they are more than happy to share their knowledge of the world with you, even if you don’t ask about it. Be prepared to laughed at if you haven’t been to at least 3 continents. In ranks of backpackers, they are royalty.
5. Fresh In The Door, Over Exhausted Backpacker
More than likely they’ve just arrived off a nine-hour bus journey and have spent the past two hours trying to find the hostel. Sweaty, grumpy and forcing a friendly hello. You empathise with them completely. We’ve all been in this situation multiple times. If you’re a decent human being you’ll leave them be and be as quiet as possible.
4. The “I need a hug and a warm dinner” Backpacker
This person has been partying hard over their travels. Puffy eyes and a raspy voice are a dead giveaway. Tales of insane trips, seven day benders and dodgy jobs they’ve done in order to fund their party lifestyle leave you feeling like you want to serve them a decent meal, give them a warm bed and some comfort. Yet they continue to down Jager bombs and smoke like a chimney.
3. The Tree-Hugger
Dreadlocks, oversized organic cotton t-shirts, no shoes… yep, you have a tree hugger in your room. They don’t all smell, but most of the time you can smell their good eco-friendly intentions. They’ve been travelling around the world for two years, trying to find a commune to call home. Fighting environmental causes and shaming you for being so eco-ignorant.
2. The Playboy
You wake up early morning to the moaning of another girl. As you pretend to be asleep you thank God for earphones and count sheep until it’s over. In saying the Playboy isn’t always a boy. The Playgirl seems to have a new boyfriend every day, and she can be as much as a player as the Playboy. Either way, I just hope your a heavy sleeper.
1. The Guy Who’s A Bit Off...
Like he seems like a really nice guy, but he just has this aura about him that makes you feel a tad uncomfortable. You often see insights into his deep psychological problems. So much so that you can even see a glimmer of fear in the hostel staff's eyes when he speaks with them. There will always some kind soul who feels bad for him, disregards everyone's prejudicial opinions and makes conversation. Only to horribly regret it when the years have passed since you've met in that tiny hostel on the outskirts of Vienna and you keep receiving postcards despite changing address... several times...
Written by Ariel Jackson.